Thursday, May 14, 2015

Camp NaNoWriMo Fail. Or maybe not...

Yes, I know it's May 14. Yes, I know the blog has been very quiet about the whole Camp NaNoWriMo experience. I've been trying to figure out how to explain what happened.

Complete Failure? Not exactly. I did add a lot of new words to my WIP. But if you are looking at it strictly from a word count perspective…then maybe. I admit, here and now, that I did NOT meet my obnoxious word count goal.

Camp NaNoWriMo Recap:

Back in March, I got myself ready. I stepped back into the world of a stagnant WIP. I refreshed myself with my research. I even tackled projects around my house…projects that had been staring me in the face for months. A friend of mine called it "nesting" and said it was like I was getting ready for a baby. She was exactly right, I was nesting.

April 1st arrived and I was ready, images of fingers flying across the keyboard danced through my head. But the Universe had an April Fool's joke ready for me. That was also the day I got my first big freelance editorial project. "Bring it," I told the Universe.

The weekend arrived with my first Ghost Stories, Inc. event. While paranormal investigations are a huge source of inspiration, I quickly learned that it's not always easy to write actual words during a ghost hunting weekend. I attacked my word count the following week, catching up just a bit. (Ahem, this is also the part where I must confess that I "adjusted" my obnoxious word count goal. In a downward direction.)

I wrote words like crazy during week two. I was motivated. I found a balance between tackling my word count goal and finding time for my freelance project. I thrived in this balance. When my brain hurt and I couldn't write any more words, I flipped to my editor brain and worked on the project that was actually going to bring an immediate paycheck. This continued for about the next ten days. And it was a beautiful balance. But then, something happened.

It wasn't unexpected. I knew it was coming. My WIP started to fall apart. Not a lot, just a little. I knew my plot was beginning to unravel just a bit. I knew there were things I needed to go back and fix. I got stuck. I knew that if I were a true blue NaNoWriMo participant, I should just push through. Keep going to the end! Because, yikes! That word count goal was staring me in the face! And I was so close, but I couldn't…quite…catch…it. I also started to feel torn, like I should be spending more time on the project that actually had a guaranteed paycheck attached to it.

Here's the thing. I made a lot of mistakes in my very first manuscript. My second one was so much better and I spent a lot of time analyzing why. That first manuscript was about finding my process. Once I found it, I vowed to stay true to it. And one of my writing mantras, is that when I get stuck, I figure it out before I just plow forward. I don't mean that I go back and fix everything, I just thoroughly think through where I want things to go before I try to just keep pushing through. It's kind of like the forest and the trees…when I get stuck, I make myself find the path. It might not be the right one, but, for me, it's better than wandering in a circle.

I've also learned over the years, that my best chance at grabbing that sometimes illusive muse, is to trust my motivation. I was motivated to finish my editing project so I did. It's a good thing, too, because another one was waiting in the wings right behind it, and then another. So I gave myself permission to…just…stop. Stop chasing that lofty word count goal. But I'm not going to call it giving up.

I am grateful that I stepped outside my comfort zone to jump into NaNoWriMo. It taught me that if faced with a creative deadline, I, 100% without a doubt, know that I will meet it. Especially if there is money involved. (Don't judge, I've been writing and editing for free for a REALLY LONG time.) It's nice to be at a place in my career that I'm getting paid for something I know I'm good at. I also proved to myself (again) that I do my best work when I am balanced and busy.

Therefore, I will keep myself busy. But balanced. I can't let my freelance projects take away from my WIP and vice-versa. Because that seems to be a magic combination for me, and it took Camp NaNoWriMo for me to figure that out.