Friday, October 2, 2015

Rejection Strategy: Plan B

Rejections are tough. They are easily, the worst part about being a writer.  It's one thing to write the words. It takes discipline and dedication, creativity and perseverance. But it's all about courage and bravery when it comes time to send those words out there for someone else to judge. Sometimes, to help find this courage, my ego might even tell me that what I submitted was good, maybe even great.

Rejections pack their wicked punch at various stages throughout the process. Sometimes, one rejection might be easier to shake off than another. But other times, a rejection feels like someone stabbed a knife, right into my heart. Getting that confirmation that someone got what I wrote, read it and didn't like it…that black and white evidence that my words weren't good enough…really, really sucks. The pain is real, and usually, exponentially related to the stakes. And sometimes, directly related to how much my ego talked me into thinking that what I wrote was good.

Rejection is an inevitable part of the process. We writers know this. Cliché alert: It's the nature of the beast and all of that. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Etcetera, etcetera. Whatever. Our skin can only be so thick. Sometimes it gets to you. But maybe, just maybe, what I wrote WAS good. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. After all, everything happens for a reason. Stupid clichés.
*Note to self: Rejection + Clichés = Annoying.

I think it's inevitable that we develop our own survival strategies for dealing with rejections. We wouldn't still be doing this, the trying over and over, again and again, if we didn't. My survival strategy has two parts.

If it's a particularly tough rejection, like the aforementioned 'knife to your heart' kind, those usually require a brief mourning period. Before I can pick myself up and dust myself off again, I need to throw myself a pity party. Key components include red wine and chocolate, and sometimes involve binge watching Victoria Mars or Mad Men.

The next phase, I like to call "Plan B" and it goes on from there. Plan B is whatever else I'm working on that I'm excited about. Plan B can be researching a new idea. Maybe Plan C is writing a short story, just for fun. Plan D might be diving into edits for my current WIP. Plans B, C and D are about throwing myself into my passion and work to help shake off the sting of the latest rejection. They are also about not giving up. If I stop to think about it and add them all up, I'm probably onto plan Double Z by now. No worries, I'll just start the alphabet over again if I need to.

It's also a strategy derived from the old saying, "Don't put all of your eggs into one basket." I think I have a lot of baskets of a lot of eggs. The point is, if this one didn't work, this time; something else might work, the next time. But I need those other things in order to have a next time…I've got to make sure there is a next time. Some days, I feel like I'm just throwing a bunch of stuff to the wall to see what will stick.

I know I will never, ever stop trying. This is my love, this is my passion. Back up world, and look out. Here comes another throw. And my aim is getting better every time. One of these days, something IS going to stick.

Shout out to one of my favorite Tweeps: If you're a writer, and you're on Twitter, check out @LitRejections if you haven't already. They will help you remember, you are not alone when it comes to rejections. And if you have any suggestions for getting through a particularly tough rejection, feel free to leave a comment below.