An Introvert's Guide to Radio Interviews

The other night, Jessica Freeburg and I gave the last of our scheduled interviews for our book, Monsters of the Midwest. It was a great chat with Chuckie G. and Karen Frazier from Paranormal Underground.


But shh....I have a secret. My introverted-self secretly dreads interviews. The last few months have gone like this: Our amazing publicist sends out the email asking if we're available to talk to so-and-so on such-and-such date. We always say yes.  Because of course we want to talk about our book with anyone who wants to talk to us about it! But as the date draws near (at least for me anyway) the anxiety starts to build. By the time the hour of our interview approaches, I can usually think of about ten-gazillion other things I'd rather be doing for the next hour other than talking on the radio about myself.  Usually at the top of the list is writing and spending time with whatever characters happen to be pulling at my brain and clamoring, "Pick me, pick me, write about me today." (With three busy kids, and a thriving freelance business, I never seem to have enough time for my own characters these days.)

The minutes tick by and as the interview time approaches, my anxiety grows. And then...the Skype call comes in and we start talking and I forget that there are actually other people listening and it's all a whole LOT of fun!

The other night was especially fun. Chuck kept us on our toes, and challenged us with great questions. Karen felt like that person you meet at a party where you just want to keep talking with her. The whole hour went by in a blink because it felt like a group of friends, having a conversation about something we were all passionate about. Oh yeah. It was!

It made me realize. Most of us writers are an introverted bunch. Maybe, there are others like me, who also anticipate these self-promotion moments with increasing horror and unease. Maybe, a quick list of survival tips will help?

1. Location, location, location. Think carefully about where the interview will take place. My "office" and writing space actually doubles as our dining room. Usually, if I'm writing at home, everyone is either in bed or at school. Depending on the time of the interview, the dining room is probably the last place I want to try and have an intelligent conversation broadcast to who-knows-how-many listeners. The last thing I want to deal with is the dog barking, the oldest kid coming home from a soccer practice, or worse, my two youngest ones getting into a fight over who-knows-what. Jessica has gone to her parents' house, and last time, she locked herself in her daughter's bedroom. I've hid out on the front porch, and once, on a Sunday night (notoriously the most hectic night of the week at our house) I went to our neighbor's house across the street and borrowed his office.

2. Wifi. Don't forget to check your wifi situation. That time I went to the neighbor's house? My wifi signal was spotty and the conversation was crackly. Halfway through the interview, I lost the connection altogether and stared, dumbfounded at the blank screen. It happened again the other night - our home wifi switches to the carrier wifi every now and then, and kicked me off my call.

3. Use the Skype app. If possible, download the Skype app to your phone. On both of the occasions above, my phone saved me. I had already downloaded the Skype app, and through that was easily able to join back into the chat. It doesn't depend on the wifi signal to keep the call connection, thus eliminating any possible stresses from the wifi.

4. Pay attention to the time zone. I know, this one seems like it should go without saying. I used to live in Belgium, I got really good at thinking in terms of time zones and phone calls. But trust me, it is easy to slip up. For our call with Paranormal Underground, I spaced the timezone thing. Thankfully, I JUST HAPPENED to get my kids settled for bed early, I was trying to plan for an hour to myself before the interview began. Ha! It turned out I had minutes to spare. Don't forget to calculate time zones!

5. Have your book in front of you. It sounds a little silly, considering you wrote the whole thing and and it came from your brain. But a lot can happen in between the time you turn your book into your publisher and the time it gets released, reviewed, and generates an interest in an interview. And if your brain is anything like mine, there is a lot going on at any given moment. Characters from my current WIPs are always shouting about; I'm trying to remember who has soccer practice when; random items I need from the grocery store pop into my head at inconvenient moments and who knows what else. If nothing else, it's a huge comfort to have the book sitting there, next to me when I talk about it. I even bookmark certain pages.

6. Brainstorm a small list of interesting tidbits or stories in advance.  People want to hear anything you want to tell them about what happened "behind the scenes." By brainstorming a list in advance of the interview, you pull these stories to the forefront of your mind and freshen them up in your memory. Even if you don't have the list with you during the interview, you will still be more likely to remember them.

7. Forget that other people are listening. This is actually easier than you might think. If you are using the Skype App, it feels like you are talking on the phone to a friend. And when you start talking about something you are excited about, with people that are excited to talk to you about it, it's much easier to think of it as a conversation between friends.

8. Don't panic. If you get cut off, figure out how to get back in the conversation - don't rely on them to call you back right away. I've been cut off twice, both times I was able to get back to the conversation by myself. i was grateful to have have both my computer and my phone in front of me, it helped me figure it out faster. I was also lucky to have a co-author who kept talking for both of us.

9. Don't panic. (No, it's not a typo.) I'm saying this again because there is another type of panic. On occasion, I've heard the words coming out of my mouth and thought to myself, "Stop talking. You're rambling." And then I tend to get self-conscious and worried and it messes with the flow of the conversation. If you find yourself rambling and wondering why you answered a certain question with hundreds of more words than you needed, don't panic. Instead, stop. Take a deep breath and avoid the downward spiral into self-doubt. Concentrate on keeping your next answer short and succinct and trust that your host will get the pace back on track. Because while this might be a new experience for you, your host does this sort of thing every week or maybe even every day. Trust them and follow their cues.

10. RELAX. Most of all, relax. Stop worrying. You wrote a book. That's really cool. This is the time to be proud of it and talk about it with people that are interested in hearing about it. Listen and concentrate on the questions, and just pretend you are talking on the phone with a really good friend. Because chances are, if you have a great conversation, you've just found one!

Oh, and in case you want to listen to MY interview, they just sent me the link! Here it is: Paranormal Underground Talks About Monsters of the Midwest with Jessica Freeburg and Natalie Fowler.

Who me? Promotion?

Fall is always a busy time of year with back-to-school, especially where I live in the Midwest. My kids play soccer, and there is this urgent feel to the air come September that screams, "We have to fit an entire sports season into the five weeks before the snow comes!"

But then, add in the fact that I am a paranormal author who is part of a ghost hunting group that teaches workshops and hosts events. Next, add in the release of a spooky book about monsters. Oh, and there was also a publishers deadline for my first ghostwriting project.

All of it was good stuff. But combined, it threatened my sanity. I think the biggest unexpected unknown was the promotion stuff for the monster book. Our book, Monsters of the Midwest, released in September. I highly recommend releasing a book with a traditional publisher, especially one that comes with a publicist! Our publicist scheduled interviews and got us newspaper interviews (one that even included a photographer and photo shoot). It helped that it was the perfect time of year to release a spooky book. We were on live in the U.K., we had an in-studio broadcast at the State Fair (for 3 hours) and all of it was a lot of fun. (I'm putting links on my website as I find them if you want to listen to any of them.)

But my introverted-self is totally and completely exhausted! I really just want to go find a corner somewhere and get back to writing.

This last week, is the final build-up to the ultimate holiday for a paranormal author -- Halloween. It's also the ultimate holiday for extroverts, which, as noted above, I am not. The thought of putting on a costume and parading around usually fills me with dread (and why I ALWAYS volunteer to stay home and pass out the candy.) But there's just a few more book signings and only one more week to talk about myself and monsters. I can do this!

There is one simple light, shining at the end of the tunnel. November happens to be #NaNoWriMo. An entire month dedicated to writing. Writing cave...get ready, because on November 1st, here I come!

Confession: I Took My Laptop to the Pool.

This summer is kicking my A-double-dollar-signs. I've finally accepted that, embraced it and...Oh. Look. Now we are already into August and we only have a few weeks until school starts again.

I don't talk much about my personal life here...privacy and respect for my family and all of that. But I have three school-aged kids. When my daughter hit full-day kindergarten age, my husband gave me that look. Don't get me wrong, my husband is totally and completely supportive of my writing dreams. But let's face it. Real life requires an actual income. His look (and our finances) said collectively, "We need something to happen here quick, or you need to get a real job."

I considered my options. On one hand, I was once a practicing lawyer. (A lawyer with a mountain of make-up CLE credits and licensing requirements that is simply too high to climb.)  I've also created a platform for myself as an author. A platform that boldly admits a kooky passion in the paranormal and teaches creatives to find inspiration in ghost hunting. The real job window was closing quick if it hadn't already. I'd already waved my freak-flag too high.  I flung myself into the "make something happen with this writing thing quick" option.

On a wing and a prayer, I declared myself a working writer. I hung out my shingle as a freelance editor, and my reputation and client list has since grown. I recently took on my first ghost writing assignment, and I couldn't be more thrilled with how it is moving along.

Except that there aren't enough hours in the day. Kids on summer vacation means that I am more than anything else, a "stay-at-home-mom." Most days, I feel like I am less of a mom and more like an uber driver that has to serve lunch and do laundry. And when the biggest soccer tournament of the year schedules multiple matches during what is the normal workday for everyone else, I am also the one everyone calls for the carpool rides. Good thing I love to watch my kids play soccer with their friends!

As a result, my writing time is precious and limited. But, I have clients! People are counting on me! Not to mention, my family still needs that additional income. Whether they are my words or someone else's, I don't have a choice but to carve out time and make the words happen wherever and whenever I can. The end of the day isn't always an option. After sitting through soccer matches in unyielding heat, combined with the aforementioned uber driving/serving lunch/laundry commitments...when darkness finally falls, most days, my brain is too tired to think straight.

The solution? Lots of early mornings. And last week, I boldly walked into the local swimming pool, grasping my precious laptop. I found a picnic table in the shade. I knew I would get judgmental stares. The "tsk, tsk" looks that say, "You should be enjoying these moments with your kids." But honestly, I was too busy to notice or care.

Because really, I've enjoyed plenty of moments with my kid(s). Remember? The soccer matches in the hot sun? I loved being there to watch. I love that my "job" gives me the flexibility to do that. On this day, though, my kids needed to enjoy a summer day in the water and I needed to work more than I needed a suntan. They really don't need me to play with them, they have each other. They do need me to set an example. I hope, that they will see and learn that sometimes, following our dreams isn't pretty. Sometimes, following our dreams means sacrifice and hard work. And as it turned out? Those two, pool-side hours were the most productive, concentrated chunk of time in my entire week. For that, I was grateful.

How to Slay the Green-Eyed Monster

I am in the middle of writing a book about Monsters in the Midwest...true tales of unexplained beasts! But there is another very real monster that likes to lurk on social media. It especially likes to haunt writers and creative types. And it has ugly green eyes.

Somewhere along the way, I figured out how to slay this ugly beast. Here are a few tips if it is haunting you...

1. Don't feed it. This requires figuring out where it likes to lurk and wait for you. For me, it lurked on Twitter, and liked to strike whenever anyone tweeted a blog post that included the words "How I Got My Agent." I wanted an agent so badly, that it physically pained me to see these posts. I knew, that by opening any such link, I would only be feeding the green-eyed beast and making it grow stronger. So I didn't.

2. Believe. Not necessarily in it, but yourself. I have a quote hanging on the wall above my computer. It reads, "Believe in your dreams and they may come true, believe in yourself and they will." (I've got some wine, to go with that cheese if you need it.) But it's true. Never stop believing in yourself (cue Journey song here). If you want something badly enough, have faith in yourself that you will do what you need to do to make it happen. And seeing someone else achieve a bit of success won't affect you nearly as much if you believe that you can make the same thing happen for yourself.

3. Do All the Things. I wrote an entire blog post on this. (Link to it here.) By doing all the things to achieve your own goals, you a.) won't have time to worry about what others are doing, and b.) will be confident that, at the end of the day, you've done everything you can. No regrets.

4. Be gracious. The green-eyed monster HATES when you are gracious. It actually causes the beast to start to wither, right before your very eyes. I think it has something to do with karma. You know how they say that karma is a bitch? Well, it works the other way too. By graciously telling someone, "good job" or "congratulations," you are spreading nothing but good karma. Good karma is the bomb when you are trying to get something good to happen for yourself!

5. There is safety in numbers. Last, but not least, surround yourself by others who have already slayed the nasty, green-eyed beast. For starters, once you slay your own beast, you don't need anyone else's attacking you.  But also, when someone is truly happy for me and any of my little successes, it inspires me to cheer on others. And we all know this isn't the easiest road to be on, I will take all of the help I can get!

Now go out there and get that beast. I know you can do it! And I know, that good things are waiting around the corner for you once you do.

Rejection Strategy: Plan B

Rejections are tough. They are easily, the worst part about being a writer.  It's one thing to write the words. It takes discipline and dedication, creativity and perseverance. But it's all about courage and bravery when it comes time to send those words out there for someone else to judge. Sometimes, to help find this courage, my ego might even tell me that what I submitted was good, maybe even great.

Rejections pack their wicked punch at various stages throughout the process. Sometimes, one rejection might be easier to shake off than another. But other times, a rejection feels like someone stabbed a knife, right into my heart. Getting that confirmation that someone got what I wrote, read it and didn't like it…that black and white evidence that my words weren't good enough…really, really sucks. The pain is real, and usually, exponentially related to the stakes. And sometimes, directly related to how much my ego talked me into thinking that what I wrote was good.

Rejection is an inevitable part of the process. We writers know this. Cliché alert: It's the nature of the beast and all of that. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Etcetera, etcetera. Whatever. Our skin can only be so thick. Sometimes it gets to you. But maybe, just maybe, what I wrote WAS good. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. After all, everything happens for a reason. Stupid clichés.
*Note to self: Rejection + Clichés = Annoying.

I think it's inevitable that we develop our own survival strategies for dealing with rejections. We wouldn't still be doing this, the trying over and over, again and again, if we didn't. My survival strategy has two parts.

If it's a particularly tough rejection, like the aforementioned 'knife to your heart' kind, those usually require a brief mourning period. Before I can pick myself up and dust myself off again, I need to throw myself a pity party. Key components include red wine and chocolate, and sometimes involve binge watching Victoria Mars or Mad Men.

The next phase, I like to call "Plan B" and it goes on from there. Plan B is whatever else I'm working on that I'm excited about. Plan B can be researching a new idea. Maybe Plan C is writing a short story, just for fun. Plan D might be diving into edits for my current WIP. Plans B, C and D are about throwing myself into my passion and work to help shake off the sting of the latest rejection. They are also about not giving up. If I stop to think about it and add them all up, I'm probably onto plan Double Z by now. No worries, I'll just start the alphabet over again if I need to.

It's also a strategy derived from the old saying, "Don't put all of your eggs into one basket." I think I have a lot of baskets of a lot of eggs. The point is, if this one didn't work, this time; something else might work, the next time. But I need those other things in order to have a next time…I've got to make sure there is a next time. Some days, I feel like I'm just throwing a bunch of stuff to the wall to see what will stick.

I know I will never, ever stop trying. This is my love, this is my passion. Back up world, and look out. Here comes another throw. And my aim is getting better every time. One of these days, something IS going to stick.

Shout out to one of my favorite Tweeps: If you're a writer, and you're on Twitter, check out @LitRejections if you haven't already. They will help you remember, you are not alone when it comes to rejections. And if you have any suggestions for getting through a particularly tough rejection, feel free to leave a comment below.

Camp NaNoWriMo Do-Over!

My #CampNaNoWriMo failure earlier this year did not sit well with my perfectionist self. I hadn't realized there would be another one coming again so soon during the month of July…but when I caught a glimpse of that #CampNaNoWriMo hashtag on July 1, it set my wheels turning. I knew I needed something to get my bum in my chair to work on my WIP as we shifted into summer…what better way than a daily word count challenge? So by the end of the day on July 1st, I quietly signed myself up for #CampNaNoWriMo. Again. 

Only this time, I made a few changes. The most important one? I kept my word count goal manageable. Oh, don't get me wrong. I have a hard time suppressing those overachiever personality traits. It was still pretty high. But I remembered to plan for vacations, and a few days of "I don't feel like writing today." But I learned the first time around, if that word count goal gets too far away, it's too easy to give up on it. I kept it real.

My second change, was that I kept that word count goal in sight. Preferably, behind me. I used the tools: the daily averages and pacing statistics that come with signing up for a NaNoWriMo challenge. It kept me on track. I kept my daily word count average low enough, so I knew I could double it the next if I skipped a day. Watching that bar graph climb the steep slope, sometimes landing higher than the daily target, was a visual thrill I never expected. I reached my word count goal on July 27. I was ecstatic.

I will be forever grateful for July's #CampNaNoWriMo. It kept me in my writing habit during one of the busiest months of the year. I yanked myself through the muddy middle of my WIP to catapult into an explosive ending. (And I mean that literally, I actually exploded stuff at the end.) I learned the value of a daily word count goal. I now feel confident that I can produce quality words on demand, under a deadline. (Which, hopefully, will come in handy in the near future. One word: sequel.) 

And best of all, the hashtag #amwriting can retire for awhile in favor of #amediting. Thanks #CampNaNoWriMo! 

It was the Best Advice...and the Worst Advice.

Some days, I feel lucky. Well, actually, a lot of days I feel lucky. But some days I feel lucky that I got through my first manuscript mostly on my own, without all of the noisy advice that seems prevalent online, especially Twitter.

These days, my Twitter feed is full of writerly advice tweets announcing, "Do this!"… "Don't do that!" And I won't even get into all of the wish lists and query do's and don'ts. After all, words are our gift, so we writers have lots of them to share.

I'm not saying advice isn't great or helpful, and I LOVE to see writers helping other writers. Who am I kidding, I LOVE to help other writers too. It's just that sometimes, it's noisy. And for me, I'm glad I didn't discover it was all out there waiting for me until I found my way through my writing process on my own first. I think otherwise, the self-doubt might have won out, and my type-A personality would have worried all along that, "I was doing it wrong" and probably my brain would have imploded.

In my early days on Twitter, I saw a tweet offering the worst writing advice I've ever seen. It announced that writers should "start small" and the blog link attached encouraged new writers to find their process through short stories and/or articles first. My first thought was that I was glad no one had told J.K. Rowling to start small. My second thought was, if I had started small, my mystery novel never would have been written. I was working. I had babies. If I had messed around with short stories during my very precious, and very limited, writing time, the damn thing never would have gotten done. And besides, in my opinion, short stories are actually really hard to write! In other words, it was the worst advice…for me.

I also flashed back to my very first writing class at the Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis. It was a short story class. I was starting small. I had an idea for a mystery, and I didn't know where to start so I decided to start with something more manageable and learn the art of a short story. The first day of the class, the instructor went around the room and asked us why we were there. I explained that I had an idea for a mystery novel.

He looked at me and asked, "So if you have an idea for a mystery novel, why are you taking THIS class?" He told me not to start small, but to follow my idea. If I had an idea for a mystery, then I needed to figure out how to write a mystery. (I still stayed in the class, but I signed up for the mystery writing class the first chance I got.)

Looking back, that instructor's advice was some of the best writing advice I have ever received. (Remember? Limited writing time due to the job and the babies.) I needed to streamline my focus to write exactly what I was inspired to write. That instructor's advice taught me to follow my motivation, and that has served me well.

When I began my writer's blog, it was with a little bit of an eye roll. Because really, does this world need another voice telling writers of the world what they should or shouldn't do? Well maybe, because anyone reading it can always take it or leave it. Also, it's such a tricky industry, it's nice to learn from others who have navigated the many different paths to get there.

But I really like to tell stories. I especially like to tell stories where I've screwed something up, or fallen flat on my face. So maybe, there might also be value for someone else in my missteps. Or at the very least a good laugh. So even though it's a little noisy out there some days, I'll tell a story or two if I have one that fits.

And MY advice about all of the advice out there? Listen to that little voice inside that tells you whether or not something is a good idea…for you. Because in this completely subjective industry, developing that little voice about our own writing is important. You'll need it to make decisions about suggested edits. You'll need it to make decisions about submissions. You'll need it…for a lot of different things. And the stronger it is, the more likely you are to listen to it.